🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?